Darkside Zodiac
Product Description
Aren’t Cancerians fed up with being the mothers of the universe? Don’t Leos become weary of being told they’re just fun-loving party animals? Does a girl–or boy–ever get to flash their mean streak? Do they ever–in Darkside Zodiac, the book that exposes the hidden underside of the stars, and how they affect the dark side of everyone.
The zodiac definitely has a dark side that influences the nasty in every one under every sign:
When Scorpios shed their Ms. Manners persona out pops a sex-mad control freak.
Capricorns are really bean-counting misanthropes.
Aries are head banging psychos.
Aquarians can’t wait to be beamed back to the mothership.
Darkside Zodiac covers personalities, rising sign, ruling planet, Moon, qualities, and elements. It also details lifestyle choices (jobs, vacations, fashion, interior design, partners) all from a gripping, yet rarely discussed perspective.
Tagged with: Darkside • Zodiac
Filed under: Zodiac Dates
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As astrologers know, each sign has its positive and negative qualities. What if an astrologer with a dry sense of humor looked only at the negative qualities? (And as a double Capricorn myself, is there any other kind?
The result is the sometimes hilarious, sometimes mildly amusing, but always funny “Darkside Zodiac” by Sheila Hyde.
Much like any beginning astrology book, Hyde begins with a discussion of the four elements (fire, earth, air and water) and the three qualities (cardinal, fixed, and mutable). According to Hyde’s take, as a Capricorn, I’m a bossy pig-headed fusspot. My last boyfriend, a Scorpio, was a stubborn moody whiner. The boyfriend before him, a Pisces, was a fickle moody whiner.
After the brief intro section, there’s a section for each sun sign, where among other things, you can match your ascendant with you sun sign to determine your personality, check where your Mars is to determine how you mishandle aggression, check where your Venus is to determine how unfortunate you are in love, match yourself up with your partner’s sun sign to see what disasters will ensue, and even how you handle toothpaste. I laughed at how Capricorns handle toothpaste which is to tightly roll it from the bottom up, then when it’s finished to unroll it, cut it open, and scrape off the last smears. I’ve actually done this! Some of Hyde’s funniest writing is in the “Dream Jobs” section. One of the dream jobs for Aries is firefighter, “fire, danger, big sharp axes, shiny red appliances to ride on…” Another amusing thing is the pictures of the zodiac signs, clever but dark interpretations of their traditional pictures, which are found on the cover and at the beginning of each sun sign. Virgo is wearing a chastity belt, the bottom Pisces fish is a fish skeleton, the Gemini Twins are frowning, and poor Cancer the crab has been boiled in a pot. If you don’t know your moon nor rising sign, there’s a rough ephemeris chart in the back to determine moon sign, and instructions on how to approximate rising sign. But to have the exact information on these and other planets, it’s best to look at a chart (there are places on the internet where you can get them for free) or consult a dedicated ephemeris.
One big problem for this over-40 reader was that the pages all have colored backgrounds and black print, some of which were quite difficult to read unless I was directly under a light source. The deep blue background of Pisces was especially difficult to read and the dark red of Aries and hot pink of Taurus were also challenging. The challenge of reading some of these pages detracted from my enjoyment of the book.
Overall, the book is amusing and worth checking out of the library.
I’m pretty sure this is the only book that has ever made me laugh so hard that I cried. Most days the glossed over brightside astrology can be really annoying and this book is a wonderfully refreshing book to laugh at yourself…and others. I enjoyed it because I know at least one person for every sign. Some people may not like it, like my mother, who said “why are you reading that? it’s says horrible things about you!”, but at least I didn’t mind. Some of the negative traits are a little exaggerated (like all pisces being drug addicts), but it still makes it funny. You will get the most enjoyment out of the book if you, like me, actually beleive in astrology and the basic character traits do apply to you. I think I laughed the hardest when she wrote about the pisces room/house and about my collection of random string that may be useful at some point….and then looking over at my shelf with my random string that may be useful at some point. Even if the things don’t apply to you, it’s still funny to read for any of the signs because it is so cynical and clever.
When you’ve read everything about how cool your Sun sign is, and are ready to move on the dark stuff you knew was there, but just hadn’t admitted yet, get this book. I’ve studied astrology for years now, and even Linda Goodman (whose works I truly love) always manages to “spin” the negative characteristics I know I have into something positive. In the spirit of honesty though, I’ve always believed knowing your darkside can lead to being able to temper it a little.
The reviewer who was critical of the colored pages and text DOES have a point – the ones I found most difficult to read were the dark blue pages with lighter typeface. But I resolved that by getting directly under my overhead light to read (the reading lamp just seemed to cast a glare on the page, making it more difficult to read). I mention this for any readers who have visual impairments, particularly with contrast.
Overall, though, great read, and definitely a book I will keep in my library.
"dark side of the moon" is a nonsense phrase only used by scintific illiterates. are you illiterate?
the far side was extensively mapped by robotic probes and apollo astronuts. maps are available (e.g. rükl).
Then you need to make some mix CDs for the road designed to seduce her to the darkside
TBA 2010.
http://wii.ign.com/objects/143/14328873.html
darkside of the sun
go to limewire and download the free version of limewire and put in the undertaker and it comes up with all kinds of stuff you might find it there.
#cosign RT @BADD_REDB0NE I think any dude with a zodiac tat or thinking of getting one is GAY a lil anyway lol
Year of the Tiger: All About the Chinese Zodiac (LiveScience.com): LiveScience.com – This Sunday, Feb. 14, mark..
- Redman Dare Iz a Darkside… Classic!
The 17th of September, 1976 was on a Friday. Just used my computer clock to check it. Other chick was right, you're a Virgo. Not sure about the future prediction. I know that your Chinese zodiac is Yang Fire Dragon. Your hour Chinese is either ox or tiger, I guess depending on if you were born a minute before 3am or a minute after. Still, I'm not positive what you're asking about dealing with predictions. I don't have any experience with that.
I know I finally came to the darkside.
Classic!!!!!
it was a simon night. Elite force and zodiac cartel for an hour straight! Looking forward to getting you to dallas tx soon
Darkside Lightside – Piano/Vocal/Guitar – Artists: Ash
ive come over to the darkside 'twitter' hehe..x
SUPER MARIO BROS!!!! best game EVER!!!! fun for ANYONE & EVERYONE!!!!
Not quite, hashmmal has a condition, the summoner has to be critical
It is. They are enharmonic equivalents. I posted it simply to be facetious (Y) But good spot.
Update: Tapout Young Men's Darkside T-Shirt,Black,X-Large
she was that guy (from 00:38) girlfriend…but he was force to kill her D:
could be their kid,
RT #ZodiacFacts #Virgo is the sixth Sign of the Zodiac, to be exact, and that's the way Virgos like it: exacting.